Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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