The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
