**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
