Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
