the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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