I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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