she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
