Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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