i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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