I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
