Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
