She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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