i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
