Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You were trust falling into bushes
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
