i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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