Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
