just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
