Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
