Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
