direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
