i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
