brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wanna bring you to show and tell
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
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