It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
