SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
