i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
All the doctor said was why
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