all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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