Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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