guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
