Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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