does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
