My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
