So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
