Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
