how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
