just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
