she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
