i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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