You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
