Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
