i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
