I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
