On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
