My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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