Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
