Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
false alarm, still single
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
