their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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