If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
This is my gift to your gina
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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