I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
