So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
