another moral hangover. fuck.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
