it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
