did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
