'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
