I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
