it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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