this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
